What To Remember When You Don’t Know What You’re Doing With Your Life

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Whenever you are about to give up, just read this.🙂

Thought Catalog

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I often find myself at 4 am, unable to sleep. It’s not that I’m not tired, because I’m exhausted; I just can’t turn my mind off. Thoughts relentlessly pour in, and I’m left thinking of ridiculous things like embarrassing situations that happened to me 7 years ago and having an existential crisis over how I have no clue what I’m doing with my life. I’m fighting these thoughts, trying to clear my mind, pushing every thought out and focusing on silence. Then my heart starts speeding up and I have to sit up because my breathing’s shallowed. My lungs are gasping for air and my thoughts are racing at speeds I can barely keep up with.

I’ve struggled through 4 years of university, fighting off anxiety and panic attacks over what I was going to do with my life (as if we’re actually supposed to know the answer to…

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Why?

It’s been a week since my last post.

I’m going to have a TOEFL exam this Saturday. Wish for the best!🙂

But today I wanna talk about this story that happened to me.

I don’t know why whenever I care too much, there must be one day that person don’t really care much about me at all.

I have always believed that there is no such excuse like ” sorry, i’m too busy these days and that’s why I don’t have time … “, if you really ‘care’.

What has to do with not replying me via Line chat for almost 2 days? I was about to freak out but then I know that’s useless, so i just keep that inside of me. deep down inside my mind . . .

Well, maybe it’s just me and not you that feel this way.

 

Luck

Recently, I just felt like writing a diary here, for I think it somehow helps me summarize and arrange ideas of what I have done throughout each day. This could be a good place to throw out any things I wanna write. Also, I hope this will at least improve my English writing skill.🙂

Let’s get started for the first blog entry of this diary!

Before I begin telling story, I want to briefly introduce what I am doing now, in case someone is passing by my blog and wondering who I am. haha   I am now a fourth year undergraduate student majoring in Bio and Brain engineering. Most people have been asking me what I am studying about. Well, basically, it is pretty much the same as Biomedical engineering. I am studying at KAIST, located in Daejeon, South Korea. I think that’s it for a brief introduction about myself (will be telling more later on).

Diary

Today I have no class, so I decided to attend a special lecture from a Nobel laureate in 2001, SIr Paul Nurse. He discovered proteins named Cdc2 and Cdk1 which are dealing with the cell division. In his lecture, he talked about 5 big biological ideas: 1) cells, the smallest unit of life, 2) genetic inheritance, 3) chemical aspect of life, 4) evolutionary aspect and 5) system and information storage. That was such an inspiring talk. I was really impressed with his experiences in his life that he used to met many of great scientists. When he showed a picture of Mendel’s garden, where he did his experiment growing peas, I was quite exciting about that. lol

After his talk, almost everybody was still staying in the lecture hall waiting for the raffle prize, ipad mini. Guess what? My friend got that! He was really lucky!!! This made me think of Prof. Paul quote which he just answered the head of Biology department. The question was ” how much money did you use in order to bring you in this position and win the Nobel prize”. And his answer was really impressive to me and I think, all the audiences there though so. He replied that sometimes it’s just the matter of luck. By this he means being in the right time, being in the right place, etc. There were a number of great scientists candidates and all of them could win the Nobel prize with no doubts, but, with luck, he was chosen. It’s just simply like that. For the money, government give their money for us and usually tell us what project we should do and that’s why they invest those amount of money for. This is not right. Instead, we ask money for doing our research but we don’t know yet what issue we are going to carry on but, among several topics, it will surely bring about advantages to mankind.

I think I need to go to bed now. It’s 00.47 am already. And I have class at 9am tomorrow. Zzzzz

Gu Family Book|EP 24 The Finale

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Finally I finished watching Gu Family Book!!! It’s indeed a very long drama.

***[SPOILER]***

Well, the story ended happily, but not in a way I expected.
Reincarnation!?!?!? How come? When the drama suddenly changed to the scene where Kangchi (LSG) is in his room wealthily living as a businessman in Seoul in the year 2013, I was just shocked!!! Moreover, at the end, he met Yeowool in a reincarnated form as a police officer. What the?!!?!
But excuse me? Where is the so-called Gu Family book??? =_=
Anyway, It’s a great drama after all. I love it! I hope that there is season 2!

Refreshing Every Day

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This activity, biking, becomes my parents’ routine exercise every early morning. So I decided to join them this morning though I need to sacrifice my valuable sleeping time. We got up at around 5.45am. Frankly, my mom had to get into my room to wake me up. We rode a bike starting from our house to downtown and then turning back from another path. It is roughly 9 km and we spent around 20-30 mins. They sometimes go for the next round but not for today.
I found out that beginning my new day with this activity is really a great way indeed to refreshing myself. Exercising in early morning can certainly help you being in a good mood throughout the whole day.🙂